The Big Decision (or No Decision at All)

The funny thing about life, or my life in particular, is that when it comes to the really big decisions, the ones that actually matter and will drastically alter the course of your future, I have yet to be faced with an easy one. Luckily, my choice this time around was between something awesome and something fantastic. Not so luckily, I am TERRIBLE at making decisions.

It was a chilly afternoon in late September. As I paced back and forth in front of the office of my current job anxiously awaiting the interviewer’s call from what I was hoping would be my next job, I could not help but wonder – is this it? Am I finally doing what so many have inquired (on an annoyingly regular basis) about? Am I finally growing up and settling down? Am I finally getting a real job?

In a daze, I nodded and uhum-ed as the woman on the other end described the job to me. An international translational service company which boasts quite the resume (they translate for the FBI, Honda and even McDonalds!), a pretty paycheck, a beautiful office on Park Avenue, and did I mention offices around the globe with a lot of opportunity for international travel? …what more could a girl who lives and breathes traveling and languages want, right?

Perhaps, but that girl would have to be sane and rational, which I tend not to be about 95% of the time. So, when I heard, “Congratulations Aliona, we would like to offer you the position, do you accept?” for some ungodly reason I asked for twenty four hours to think it over.

Twenty four hours. How much can really change in twenty four hours? For everyone else in the world they would go home, have dinner, head to bed, wake up the next morning and chew the decision over with some cereal for breakfast. They would then call back their recruiter and tell them they can’t wait to start. But that's just everyone else. For me, my entire life was changed in those few short hours.

As my phone vibrated the next morning to notify me of an e-mail, I could not help but get angry that I forgot to deactivate my Groupon e-mails (10 e-mails a day, really?) This one, however, was not from Groupon – it was from AmeriCorps NCCC, congratulating me on my acceptance to serve in two weeks.

My entire world was flipped upside down. My future consisting of a fancy NYC office and an apartment in Brooklyn withered away to nothing in a matter of hours. Very long, painful hours as I processed my current predicament, weighing each miniscule detail of my options. As much fun as growing up and settling down sounded, I could not get Mark Twain’s words out of my head:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

An office job in NYC is not going anywhere, but my youth is. Growing up, getting a “real” job and settling down can hold off for another year, but AmeriCorps cannot. Lastly, I have the rest of my life to make money, so why not volunteer and give back for a few months?

What came to me disguised as the most difficult decision of my life was really just a simple choice of following my heart and doing what I am passionate about. Needless to say that the doing the program alongside my best friend Melissa, who got accepted into the Sacramento program, was more than anything I could have asked for. 

And so they began, my ten months of service in Class XIX of AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps, Southwest Region.

AmeriCorps Motivational Statement - a little about me

Growing up in Latvia during the turbulent times following the collapse of the Soviet Union, my family did not have much. My mother, a single mother of two, struggled as she worked four jobs to put food on the table for me and my brother. One day, in the midst of teaching an English class, she fainted from hunger. It was in that moment that she realized that she needed to find a way out of the dark vacuum that was engulfing her family, no matter how challenging or precarious that way may be.

In October of 1996, a brave woman arrived in the United States with nothing but five dollars in her pocket and nothing but perseverance on her mind. She began working as a caretaker for an elderly couple with Alzheimer’s, and every dollar she made was sent back home to her children. Three years, lots of tears, heaps of hardship and numerous immigration court cases later, my mother’s dreams came true – she brought her children to the United States of America.

My life, as well as the lives of my family members, has come a long way since that chilly October morning when I saw my mother boarding that plane, tears in her eyes, promising us a better tomorrow.  Two weeks ago, I became a citizen of the United States. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings of joy and gratitude that overwhelmed me when I became a part of this amazing nation. The struggles that my family went through now seem light-years away, but not a day has gone by when I have not counted my blessings. I thank God every day for guiding my family through difficult times, I thank my mother for her strength and perseverance, and I thank America for taking my family in as one of its own.

I am also thankful for my struggles because, as cliché as that may sound, they truly made me the person that I am today. I do not take things for granted, for I know what it’s like to have nothing; I work hard at everything I do, for I have an amazing mother as my inspiration and my role model; most importantly, however, I devote myself wholeheartedly to helping others, for I know what it’s like to be forgotten and neglected in this world of seven billion people, as my family once was.

In “Tuesdays with Morrie,” Mitch Albom wrote, “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

I believe that in today’s society, too many people are chasing the wrong things in their pursuit of happiness – a newer car, a bigger TV set. While materialistic objects may warm your heart for a day or two, helping others, devoting yourself to your loved ones and your community and making positive changes in the world will ignite a flame of pure joy in your heart that will burn for years to come.

The morning I became a citizen of the United States of America